KK's Korner

So a while back I tuned in to this CMT original series, “My Big Redneck Wedding.”

Yeah, it’s pretty much what you’d presume it to be.

I tuned into this show because there was an article in my local fishwrap about the “finale” episode, which was filmed not too far from where I live. After that show aired, I didn’t hear anything about this series getting renewed for a second season.

Well guess what I just found while going through possible viewing options for last night?

Yep.

And now it’s on season THREE.

I missed an entire season of this television masterpiece.

I talked about National Geographic’s “Locked Up Abroad” series a while back. Let’s see what I said.

So while I was cleaning the house yesterday, the National Geographic Channel (err, sorry, NAT-GEO) ran several episodes of its “Locked Up: Abroad” series. I’ve talked about this show in the past, and it always cracks me up whenever an episode involves some dope who’s a n00b to the drug-trafficking game. For some reason, I get a big kick out of seeing these people get busted.

“But *name of drug dealer* said the airport security overseas NEVER checks luggage for drugs.”

Lolz.

OK. Well, today I went on another “Locked Up” bender. This is one of those shows I watch a bunch at a time; if there’s a marathon on during the weekend, I might tune in. if I have nothing better to do.

This latest crop of shows wasn’t all that entertaining. In fact, a number of them barely touched upon the actual prison experience. Most of them dealt with how the spotlighted prisoner ended up in the foreign slammer. I don’t care how someone smuggled hash into Tokyo or out of Mexico. I want to see them fend for their lives in incarceration conditions that make the ACLU’s whining about U.S. inmates not receiving Internet access laughable. This latest batch was just … lame. It took 45 minutes for the Tokyo episode to even get to the part about jail. And even then it was boring. So the person had to sit down in one spot in her cell each day. Where were the shankings? The drugs-for-sex inmate transactions? The death?

You know, all the good stuff?

Elizabeth Taylor was 15 minutes late to her funeral.

The actress, who was laid to rest Thursday in a private funeral at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale outside L.A., had made specific requirements about the service before she died Wednesday at age 79.

“The service was scheduled to begin at 2 p.m. but at Miss Taylor’s request started late,” her rep told Access Hollywood. “Miss Taylor had left instructions that it was to begin at least 15 minutes later than publicly scheduled, with the announcement, ‘She even wanted to be late for her own funeral.’”

Better than being 15 minutes early.

“I meant no disrespect.” That line was funnier than the actual Tweets in question.

A day after Gilbert Gottfried was fired as the Aflac duck for making light of the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, the comedian is saying sorry.

“I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan,” Gottfried, 56, the voice of the duck since 2000, says in a statement. “I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.”

After Gottfried sent a series of joke-filled Tweets, Aflac’s Senior Vice President and Chief Marketing Officer Michael Zuna issued a statement Monday saying, “Gilbert’s recent comments about the crisis in Japan were lacking in humor and certainly do not represent the thoughts and feelings of anyone at Aflac.”

I love Gilbert. I was also not offended by his comments, such as “Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them.”

This guy does offensive jokes. That’s his schtick. The fact he also did similar jokes shortly after the 9/11 attacks, among other tragic events, gives him a pass in my book. He’s consistent in being an ass, and consistency is all I ask for.

Am I saying you shouldn’t be offended? Not at all. Do I blame Aflac for canning him? Nope.

So what’s the point of this? I have no idea. Hey, shiny object!

Guess God wanted someone to distract Jacko’s attention away from the sandbox and jungle gym area.

Elizabeth Taylor, the legendary actress famed for her beauty, her jet-set lifestyle, her charitable endeavors and her many marriages, has died, her publicist told CNN Wednesday. She was 79.

Here acting career was pretty much over when I got old enough to watch her movies. Because of this, she always seemed to be one of those people who was famous just for being famous. I know that’s not the case, but that’s how it was for me.

Peace out.

I was recently informed of the viral “sensation” of this pop gem.

This has to some kind of satire on pop music, right?

When I heard this for the first time, I knew the “this isn’t serious” conspiracy was under way. As I listened, I was going back and forth as to whether this was meant to be taken as a joke.

Uncreative lyrics? Check.

Synthesized-sounding voice? Check.

“Yesterday was Thursday. Today is Friday. We so excited. Tomorrow is Saturday.”

OK, this whole production had to be done in a tongue-in-cheek way. But there have been other songs through the years that are just as corny … and making your wacky wishes come true.

But back to Friday.

I was still undecided in my verdict until I got to the part with the black guy doing the obligatory “rap” verse that seems to be popular with a number of these kinds of songs.

No way any self-respecting hip-hopper — even the Studio Gangstas and Wack MCs — would ever agree to be a part of this.

Case closed.

OK, so I thought MTV’s “My Super Sweet 16″ show was bad. After all, it showed spoiled brats throwing tantrums because the over-the-top birthday party of theirs only cost five times the amount of America’s median household income.

I was wrong.

Introducing TLC’s “Outrageous Kids Parties.” My God. (Just watch the first minute or so of this video and ignore the rest of the cackling.)

Look, if the parents can afford this crap, then yay. In fact, some of the kids don’t seem … that … bad. Well, OK. Maybe just one out of the several shows I have seen. However, in this show, it’s the parents I want to kick the crap out of. In every show I’ve seen, it’s been the mothers who arrange these events and the fathers who have no clue what’s going on. Even though both adults are culpable, in my opinion, I tend to blame the mothers more in these cases. One theme I’ve noticed in the shows I’ve watched is that most of these women are living vicariously through their children and want to bring back their own childhood memories. Not sure if this is some hidden cry for help or what, but it’s certainly … outrageous.

So how am I supposed to react to this?

The Parents Television Council now is starting to criticize TV projects even before they have gotten on the air. The TV watch group, which recently waged a campaign against MTV’s racy new series Skins, today issued a blistering statement against ABC’s dramedy pilot Good Christian Bitches. “ABC’s decision is not only an affront to women, it blatantly attacks the world’s largest faith,” PTC president Tim Winter said. “The ‘b-word’ is toxic and is used to degrade, abuse, harass, bully and humiliate women. And the ‘Christian’ element only adds insult to injury. Would ABC even consider another faith to denigrate? Would they even consider a program title or a plot line based on ‘Bitches’ who were Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist? I suspect not, and I certainly hope not. So why the double standard?”

Good Christian Bitches is, of course, a working title for the pilot, which is based on Kim Gatlin’s book of the same name and will be changed if the project goes to series, as will be the moniker of another ABC pilot briefly mentioned in PTC’s statement, comedy Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apt. 23. Even as working titles, Winter finds those offensive. “Regardless of whether the title ultimately makes it to broadcast, ABC has publicly proclaimed its values and it has tarnished the Disney brand,” he said.

Described as a secy soap,Good Christian Bitches stars Leslie Bibb as a mother of two and onetime “mean girl” in high school who returns home humbled following a scandalous divorce, hoping to get a second chance at winning over her old classmates.

PTC previously unsuccessfully tried to change the name of CBS’ comedy $#*! My Dad Says which got on air with the original title announced by the network at its upfront presentation.

First off, having watched 5 minutes of “$#*! My Dad Says,” I wish the PTC would have changed the show occupying that time slot. What a terrible program. It should be on HBO or Showtime.

Anyway, back to Christian Bitches. Whatever should I do? Should I side with the PTC or Big Hollywood? As evidenced by a previous post, I’m not exactly sensitive to religion. So whenever I’m in a bind, I go back to this basic question that shows me the light.

Would the producers of this show have titled it, “Good Muslim Bitches,” even if only on a temporary basis?

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say, “no.”

If it’s not good for one religion, it’s not good for all.

This round goes to the PTC.

So the other day I asked this question on my Facebook wall: What movie did you have the most anticipation to see in the theater?

Now I generally answer with the first thought that pops into my head, and usually that gets me into all sorts of trouble. This time around, I’m pretty confident in my answer.

And just what was my answer?

The life-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

It’s weird. I wasn’t a HUGE Turtles fan as a kid. However, I was pretty excited for this movie to come out. When it premiered, I was dropped off at the local theater and went to get a ticket. When I was told that the theater was close to selling out, I happily chose to wait until the next showing so I could get the seat of my choice. And it was a damn good experience, from what I remembered. I even bought a shirt that was one size too small from the over-priced merchandise section of the theater because that was the only size they had left. No wonder businesses try to pander to kids; we’ll buy anything.

I think one reason I looked forward to the Turtles movie so much was because I was never really exposed to the cartoons all that much. At this time, the Turtles cartoon was only on Sunday mornings in my region. I couldn’t watch them on the weekends I spent at home with my mom because … well, I don’t know why. I think I had to go to church at that time. When I spent every other weekend with my dad he would ALWAYS wake up right as they would come on and bitch that I watched each episode 500 times already. So because the Turtles were a “forbidden fruit” for me at the time, this movie was one of the few opportunities I could take part in a viewing experience.

And it was worth it. Hell, I saw this movie on ABC Family last year and still enjoyed watching it. Now the sequels? Haven’t bothered.

I know better.

So is this REALLY that big a deal?

When Kenneth Branagh cast Idris Elba as Heimdall in the upcoming summer tentpole Thor, a furious debate erupted among fanboys, with some insisting it was wrong for a black man to play a Nordic god.

But the London-born actor has no patience for the debate. “It’s so ridiculous,” he said Feb. 24 at Rutgers University in Newark, N.J.

“We have a man [Thor] who has a flying hammer and wears horns on his head. And yet me being an actor of African descent playing a Norse god is unbelievable? I mean, Cleopatra was played by Elizabeth Taylor, and Gandhi was played by Ben Kingsley.”

I know nothing about the Thor backstory. Were there all whiteys in his world?

So if the Muslim Wookie-Fucker would lose his re-election bid in 2012, could this mean a possible lawsuit to KK’s Korner?

Rocker Courtney Love has settled the lawsuit brought against her by a fashion designer who claims she was defamed in a series of Twitter messages.

The settlement with Dawn Simorangkir (a.k.a. the “Boudoir Queen”), which sources say was being finalized Thursday and will be announced next week, will cost Love about $430,000. The first payment of cash is due Thursday, followed by a series of payments to Simorangkir stretched out until 2014.

The settlement ends a case that was watched as closely for the unique legal issues in play as the often-erratic behavior of the defendant. Simorangkir, who became embroiled in a dispute with Love over a $4000 payment for clothing, accused the Hole frontwoman of ruining her business with a series of allegedly defamatory tweets posted during a 20 minute rant in 2009. The trial, which was originally scheduled for late January but was postponed when the parties began talking settlement, would have been the first high-profile courtroom showdown over what constitutes defamation on Twitter.

Love argued that her rantings were merely an expression of opinion and that Simorangkir could not prove how they damaged her. The fashion designer, on the other hand, pointed to Love’s influence as an entertainer and the power of social media to disseminate damaging comments, including that Simorangkir was an “asswipe nasty lying hosebag thief.”

If it does, and the Non-Dialect Negro takes everything I own, at least then he would finally have possession of an actual birth certificate.

So the updates on my wall tell me that today is Dr. Seuss’s birthday. Might as well pay a fitting tribute like everyone else.

I have to admit, within recent days this Charlie Sheen fellow has been winning me over.

Charlie Sheen really likes calling into radio shows. The troubled TV star took to the air waves once again, this time calling into syndicated radio show “The Alex Jones Show” to slam “Two and a Half Men” creator Chuck Lorre in a rambling, erratic interview.

Sheen ripped into Lorre, saying that he must have embarrassed him “in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process.” But Sheen didn’t stop there went on to call Lorre a “turd” and a “clown” and later used an anti-semitic term while referring to Lorre’s name. Sheen said he is eager to get back to work but has now seemingly escalated a very public battle with the producers the hit comedy.

Sheen was even more outrageous than in his recent series of radio interviews since announcing he was entering rehab, claiming he is “100 percent” clean. “Here is your first pee test,” he said to Alex Jones, the “next one goes in your mouth. No, you wont get high.” In the live interview Sheen also said he has no time for Alcoholic’s Anonymous, saying “I am special and I will never be one of you” and referred to the group as a “bootleg cult” with a success rate of 5 precent. He went on to say “I have a disease? bulls**t! I cured it … with my mind.”

I’ve known this guy was batshit for years, and I’ve been mostly indifferent. But now … it’s different. Before he was a run-of-the-mill 9/11 Truther. But now … well, this is probably the way I would like to go out.

One of these years I’m going to create a “movies” subfolder at this place. In the meantime, I have to say that goddamn those Spiderman films have not aged well.

I watched the first one a few nights ago and it has not stood up to the test of time. Then again, maybe it’s because the cartoony feel of the thing got blown out of the water with the two newest “Batman” movies.

Nah. Punisher: War Zone was an 11 out of 10 on the “What the hell is this?” scale and I love that move.

Although one thing I will say is that I hated Aunt May back then and I still hate her now.

And now the Survivor Widower time of year commences.

Between 8 pm – 9 pm on Wednesday nights for most of the next few months I’m banned from the living room.

I hate this stupid show. Mrs. kkk loves it. What can I say? I watch a ton of sports that she hates.

With every Super Bowl comes the critique of the Super Bowl commercials.

The fact I almost forgot to talk about these this year pretty much sums up what I thought about this year’s crop.

Here’s what I don’t understand about many of these ads, which use crude innuendos and cheap slapstick like shooting objects at a man’s crotch. You’re paying millions of dollars for this airtime. You’re showcasing your product to hundreds of millions of people. Put some creativity into your commercial. Here was this year’s winner for me.

And for the record, if I should ever reproduce, that’s what I would probably be like as a father. God help kkk Jr.

Oh, this made me laugh, too.

“A town that’s been to hell and back.” What’s this “…and back” stuff?

Sad thing is the only ads I really cared about were the movie trailers for upcoming BlOcKbUsTeRs.

Didn’t Harrison Ford learn his lesson with making alien-related movies a few years ago?

So the better half and I found a new gem: A&E’s “Storage Wars.”

I’m sorry. I meant, “Storage War$.”

What’s it about? I’ll let Wiki handle this part:

Storage Wars is a reality television series on the A&E Network premiering in 2010. When rent is not paid on a storage locker for three months in California, the contents are sold off by an auctioneer as a single lot of items. The show follows professional buyers who purchase the contents based only on a 5 minute inspection and what they can see only from the door when it is opened. The goal is to turn a profit on the merchandise.

Basically, there are four people who go and bid on unpaid storage lockers. They bid on these things and then we get to see all the valuable merchandise people leave behind.

And I love it. The four main characters are great.

First off is Jarrod and his wife Brandi. Their storyline is that they own a fledgling thrift store and are the “underdogs” of the group. What I like about them is that on the show they “feud” over one of them spending too much on a locker or if one person wants to bid on a locker while the other person thinks there’s nothing but garbage in that same storage facility. The one thing I like about them is I’ve seen Mrs. kkk shoot me the same glares Brandi does her husband when he overbids for a locker.

Next is Darrell. The reason I like him is that he “feuds” with my favorite character on the show. There are times I think there’s something wrong with him upstairs, but without him the show wouldn’t be as entertaining. He’s positioned as “the gambler” on the show. This is supposed to mean he’ll bid on a locker in hopes of finding one high-priced item. OK then.

My second-favorite character is Barry. He’s got a real hippie-vibe to him, but it’s the good kind of hippie vibe — the whole “you do your thing and I’ll do my thing.” The show says he does this more as a hobby than as a means to make a living. I just think he’s funny as hell, and the fact he doesn’t take this so seriously on the show provides some great comic relief.

Now time for my favorite character: Dave. He’s portrayed on this show as the asshole of the group, and that’s why I love him. He owns a store and is very business-oriented. God bless him. And when he bids on an item he shouts out, “YEEEEEEP.” It’s so annoying, and I love it.

Here’s some more info.

Now of course the question is if all this is real. It’s impossible to believe that every big payday these people find are in these storage units, but I’m sure there is a ton of unaired footage of these people bidding on shitty lockers. Is this staged? Probably in some parts, but I really don’t care. I watch it for the characters. And I can’t wait until more and more people start bidding on these storage auctions and lose a fortune. Not every storage locker has hundreds of collectible newspaper editions from the day Elvis died (in mint condition, no less).

So I’m watching yet another one of these shitty Sci-Fi channel movies: Mega Shark v. Giant Octopus. Oops, I meant SyFy channel.

And it stars Deborah Gibson. Because if she was billed as just “Debbie,” this movie wouldn’t be taken as seriously.

Thank God for the DVR machine. If I’m in the mood to watch this crap, I DVR the program and fast-forward through the 110 minutes of story-telling and commercials and watch the 10 minutes of screen-time these Mega-Monster/Dino-oids get.

Also have to mention that Gibson looks great.

Wow. Something related to the Daily Schmoe that actually made me laugh. This was taken at that Rally for Commies event.

Quite a bit of white faces in that crowd. I counted six persons of color.

The sad thing about this routine…

…is that “Get The Fuck Out Of My House” is probably my favorite song from 2 Live Crew.

Not a big fan of the Crew, but this track makes me laugh. Even moreso now that I’ve dedicated this song to Nancy Pelosi this past election.

Sweet.

James Bond’s vacation is over.

After the financial wrangling over the fate of MGM led the family that produces the 007 films to halt development of their 23rd installment last year, the project is back on track with plans for a Nov. 9, 2012 release date, MGM confirms to EW. (Deadline first reported the story.)

Daniel Craig will return for his third run as the superspy. What was more in question was whether Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes, who had been attached to the movie before it was put on hiatus, would still be participating.

Still don’t have a final opinion on Daniel Craig as James Bond. I liked Casino Royale, though probably not as much as those who REALLY like the film. The one after that is OK; I’ll probably need to watch it another time or two before having a more fleshed-out opinion. One thing is for sure: I hated the song to the opening credits.

Having recently re-watched the Jurassic Park movies, I can’t help but think they could have pulled off a successful dino-theme park.

Just don’t produce any reptiles that would eat you.

Seriously, you don’t think people will pay good money to see a Triceratops or a Brachiosaurus?

I really need to create a “movie review” section on this thing.

So with the new HDTV came a new DVR from Comcast; the new DVR has a HDMI component. One topic of discussion which was then brought up at the kkk house was to DVR shows in HD or keep DVR’ing in standard definition.

The plus to DVR’ing in HD: You watch shows in high definition (duh).

The negative to DVR’ing in HD: You aren’t able to record/store nearly as much programming.

While I was on the side of DVR’ing HD programs, the better half had a dissenting viewpoint. She kept a shitload of programs on our old DVR — some from a year ago. She has a habit of recording shows and not watching them. Ever. Even when it came to show like “American Idol,” she would record the program, find out who got eliminated that week and then not watch that show until a month later. She would keep track of who got eliminated but would watch 4-5 shows at once long after they were broadcast. If we were to start recording in HD, this wasn’t going to happen.

Her solution was to have her record all her stuff in standard and all my stuff in HD. That’s fine, but I still saw the potential fight on the horizon when storage space is at a premium and she has to dump some of her months-old shows. I can practically hear her say, “Well it’s because you take up more space with your HD programs!” (For the record, I only DVR six 30-minute programs. Mrs. kkk would still have the majority of DVR dedicated to her viewing schedule.)

Well all this was tossed aside last night when she saw “Hawaii 5-0″ in HD tonight. Did I mention she’s obsessed with Alex O’Loughlin? I guess after Kurt Warner retired from the NFL she needs a new TV boy-toy. Anyway, her previous position of, “I can’t tell the difference between HD and regular programming,” has now turned into, “OMGOMGOMG HD IS AWESOME. LOOK AT HIM!” I guess I should be grateful Alex kept his shirt on; Mrs. kkk’s teenybopper side was in full glory whenever she was watching a movie/TV show that featured him topless.

Still can’t wait until she has to make some cuts to the DVR lineup when there’s a lack of room for her backlog of programs.

One of my favorite commercials from the last year or so.

The shot of Arthur Blank at 0:15 shoots this commercial up into “epic” status for me. Much better than this abortion from 2009.

So Leslie Nielsen passed away. Just in case you don’t believe me.

Leslie William Nielsen, OC (11 February 1926 – 28 November 2010

Now many people are making references to his Naked Gun movies, or his ‘Don’t call me Shirley” line from “Airplane.” However, here’s something you don’t see every day. From 1977′s “Day of the Animals.”

Man Girdles being pimped on TV commercials.

I’ll stick with my pooh-belly, thank you very much.

So today I decided to go on Comcast OnDemand and take a gander at the “Walking Dead” show on AMC.

I like. A lot.

I’m not a huge zombie fan but I don’t necessarily hate the genre. However, I think the George Romero “Dead” series is way overrated. I also think the new “Dawn” is overrated. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll watch a zombie movie, but I don’t wank to these films like others do.

Here is some kkk-ommentary from watching the first three episodes.

[spoilerz]

– One thing I have to take note of are all the white-trash redneck characters. They may be wife-beating, racist, high-school dropouts, but at least they’re still alive, baby.

– If there is a zombie outbreak, who in their right mind would go to a major urban area? Seriously. I don’t even venture into the city now.

– After seeing what happened to the horse in the first episode, I know this won’t be a series I’ll be watching with the better half.

– I have to admit that I thought the main character was really going to shoot himself under the tank. Well done.

[/spoilerz]

You know, all he has to do is let us see the birth certificate. An entire show on the subject is a bit too much.

Rumor or truth: Will the Non-Dialect Negro appear on “Mythbusters?” If you guessed truth, then give yourself 10 points. The Muslim Wookie Fucker will make a cameo appearance in the Dec. 8 episode of the Discovery channel show. In an attempt to draw attention to science, President Hussein will appear in an episode that tackles whether Archimedes could have used mirrors that reflect the sun to set a roman fleet aflame. The show commonly tests out the truth of urban legends and myths.

So earlier today I was listening to some Roger Troutman on YouTube. I then noticed that one of the user comments said, “RIP Roger.”

Que?

I’ll be damn. He died … eleven years ago. Good to know I’m on top of things.

On a Sunday morning, April 25, 1999, Roger Troutman was found shot and critically wounded outside his northwest Dayton recording studio around 7 a.m. According to doctors, the 47-year-old had been shot several times in the torso and was in critical condition; he died during surgery at the local hospital, Good Samaritan Hospital and Health Center. Roger’s brother Larry was discovered dead in a car a few blocks away with a single gunshot wound to the head. A pistol was found inside the vehicle, which matched the description of a car leaving the scene of Roger Troutman’s shooting according to witnesses. The gun found with Larry Troutman also matched the one which fired the fatal shots into Roger, indicating that Larry had shot Roger and then taken his own life.

One of my favorites from him. Peace out.

It’s kinda funny how over the last few years I’ve been hearing more and more of the current music scene using that synthesized voice machine thing, or whatever it’s called. Here’s an example that first popped into my head.

I’ve heard other examples, but the problem is I have no idea who any of these artists are so YouTube searches would be in vain.

Not sure if Zapp and Roger were the pioneers of this, but that’s when I first heard this sound.

Oh what the hell. It’s been 11 years since your death and I only found out about it now. Here’s another tribute.

So earlier today I watched District 9.

This has an 8+ rating on IMDB and was nominated for best picture? LOL.

Waaaaaay overrated.

If you don’t know what this movie is about, well here you go.

I’m not sure what’s overrated more — this or “Children of Men.” I’ll probably go with “District” because it was up for a “Best Picture” award.

With all that said, I will admit I liked the fact you didn’t get much of a backstory with the aliens. Where did they come from? Why were they here? None of that is really explained, and I think it made the movie better that way. You got to make your own conclusions. Didn’t quite back the same punch as the open-ended “Did evil win or lose?” question in the “Exorcist,” but it was perfectly acceptable.

So let I get this straight.

Todd Phillips wants to set the record straight once and for all: Mel Gibson’s proposed cameo in The Hangover 2 didn’t work out – but the actor was never “fired.”

“No one was ever fired,” the film’s director said at the press day for his new movie Due Date. “It’s a term that is so obscene to me.”

Phillips says the move to replace Gibson with Liam Neeson was business as usual.

“Someone was doing me a favor to come in for a two-minute cameo, and we changed it,” Phillips says. “It wasn’t like we fired somebody. [Gibson] was just doing a favor from the beginning.”

But the back-and-forth certainly caused a stir. Shortly after news of Gibson’s cameo as a Bangkok tattoo artist emerged, Phillips announced the appearance was cancelled. Then there was speculation that Hangover star Zach Galifianakis was leading the call for Gibson to be cut from the movie after the comedian gave an interview to a comedy podcast suggesting there were problems on the Hangover 2 set.

The “Hangover 2″ people axed Mel Gibson from its “WTF cameo,” but in its previous installment they welcomed a convicted rapist who went to prison.*

OK then.

The first Hangover movie did nothing for me. Now I have even more of a reason not to get “2″ once it shows up in the DVD bargain bin.

*= Not that I really cared about Tyson appearing in the first Hangover movie.

I didn’t care much for “The Hangover.” I liked the idea, but I just didn’t find it all that funny. Hey, comedy’s tough.

With that said, I will watch this once it gets to Comcast OnDemand or in the discount DVD bin.

It worked with Mike Tyson in “The Hangover.” But can director Todd Phillips make a celebrity cameo uncomfortably funny with a much more, er, complicated figure?

The New York Post reported this morning that Mel Gibson will play a Bangkok tattoo artist in “The Hangover 2.” Two people close to the production confirmed to The Times that Gibson — who’s maintained radio silence since recordings apparently capturing his violent rants against ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva surfaced this summer — will play an American expat living in Thailand. (The gang goes to Southeast Asia in the new installment for the wedding of Ed Helms’ character to a Thai-American woman; the movie has begun shooting in Southern California and will head to Thailand in several weeks.)

So every now and then I get into a Devo groove. Tonight is one of those nights.

sank, swam, go down with the ship
but use your freedom of choice

Awesome.

But you want to know what’s more awesome? Reading some of the comments to SongMeanings.net. Here is what one person said about the meaning to “Whip it.”

I think when he says “Whip it good” he is speaking of one of the late and great Arnold’s, you know that kid from the Nick-a-lodian TV show… I would love to whip that kid 40 or even 50 lashes… thats what I think this song means

Here’s another one.

Actually your all wrong, I’ve actually talked with Devo in the late 90′s about this song. It is actually written about a Artie from the TV show Pete and Pete. Because he can whip anyones butt.

I hope these people are kidding. Either way, when you read something this stupid for the first time you can’t help but laugh and/or shake your head.

You know, kinda like when you visit this place.

Someone who is afraid of pickles is a waitress? Can’t fire her, either; that would violated the Americans With Disabilities Act.

The chicken “trap” is something I would do. Awesome.

Did the TV producers tell you it would be a great idea to appear on national television representin’ with your ICP necklaces, or did you two come up with this idea on your own?

And in case this video ever gets disabled, I still want the visual proof to remain here.

I’m not keen on the whole Spiderman universe. I know some, but not much.

The sticky web of comic book crime fighter Spider-Man has caught a new gal for a new movie.

Emma Stone, a 22-year-old starlet who has appeared in movies such as “Zombieland” and the comedy “Easy A,” will play the leading female role of Gwen Stacy in the upcoming action adventure set for release in 2012, Columbia Pictures said on Tuesday.

Uh, yay?

To the film’s credit, at least they’re going with a new gal pal this time around. Still don’t like the whole re-boot idea. Then again, they did that with the Incredible Hulk after ONE movie. And I liked Brokeback Hulk. Well, actually, it was one of those movies I start watching and then get bored midway through. I then consider turning the movie off, but like I dope I usually continue. Or fall asleep.

Same thing with Tim Burton’s “Batman.” I usually get bored around the time Joker shoots Bruce Wayne in Vicki Vale’s apartment.

Guess I could also throw in “As Good As It Gets” when all the main characters go on that road trip.

That’s about all I can think of for now.

Here’s the thing. I don’t watch network television. The last time I watched anything first-run was “NYPD Blue.” I’m not much better with cable shows, but that’s beside the point.

For whatever reason I clicked on this story regarding TV ratings.

Two weeks into a new television season, and it’s clear there are no must-see new programs.

CBS’ Monday night remake of “Hawaii Five-0″ was the only new program to crack the Nielsen Co.’s list of the 20 most popular programs last week. Its audience of 12.7 million viewers was down from the 14.2 million people who saw the premiere. That’s not unusual, but it’s not the sign of a show taking off, either.

Fox’s “Lone Star” and ABC’s “My Generation” have been cancelled. The ABC show had only 3.8 million viewers last week, deadly for a Thursday night and no help to “Grey’s Anatomy,” which followed it on the schedule.

NBC’s Jimmy Smits vehicle “Outlaw,” ABC’s procedural “The Whole Truth” and the Fox comedy “Running Wilde” need to show progress soon, or they could face the same fate.

Other than “Hawaii Five-0,” I never heard of these shows before. Curious, I did a search on YouTube for “My Generation.”

This is what I got.

Holy fuck that looks atrocious. Who watches this shit?

Apparently not enough people.

Still though, to think almost 4 million people watched this show across America. Even if you are on a soon-to-be-canned program, it must be one helluva feeling. I wonder how many actors actually watch their performance on television?

So there’s this new show called, “Detroit 187.”

Why the redundancy?

Wow.

Hate to admit it, but Keynes had the tighter flow. Guy’s a busta, but I gots to keep it real.

I’ve been on a Sharktopus kick the last few days.

And now the ratings are in…

Syfy’s craptacular “Sharktopus” gobbled 2.5 million viewers Saturday night.

That’s a big number for a Syfy original movie, and represents the best-ever showing by a Saturday night creature feature in September on the network.

It’s not as big as, say, August’s “Lake Placid 3″ (3.1 million), but that was Syfy’s most-watched original movie since 2005.

Only bringing up the “Lake Placid” comparison because “Sharktopus” received plenty of advance buzz, and is called “Sharktopus,” and it seemed possible the movie could score an all-time high.

“Lake Placid 3″? Oy.

Here’s another trailer for Sharktopus, and there are two things I have to mention.

1) After reading the viewer comments, I’m glad there’s somebody else out there that thinks the Navy Commander looks like Glenn Beck.

2) If you think the “roaring” that Sharktopus does is dumb, you ain’t heard nothing…

Now be honest. Which one of these two films would you rather see in the theaters?

And guess which one I saw at the cinema as a kid?

I’m in the mood for dumb monster movies, which means you’re in the mood for dumb monster movies.

And here’s an extended trailer.

OK, when you’re the leading actress in a “movie” called “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus,” does it really matter if you’re credited as “Debbie” or “Deborah” Gibson?

So after watching the riveting “Dinocroc vs. Supergator,” the SyFy channel teased me with…

And of course I fell asleep during the final 30 minutes, so I’ll never know if Sharktopus gets to Eat Eric Roberts.

Oh for God’s sake.

Now I’m just clicking on random YouTube videos. The hell?

A line from SyFy’s “Dinocroc vs. Supergator” — “Alligators and Crocodiles are mortal enemies.”

They are?

Guess so; what other reason would the characters have to get the beasties together for the epic climax?

And they actually used that line in the trailer. David Carradine, what have you done?

Crap. I hope the Blockbuster near me doesn’t go under. I go there a few times a year to stock up on $4 DVDs when they go on sale.

The once dominant Blockbuster Video filed for bankruptcy Thursday. It’s a sign that the way many Americans are consuming media is rapidly changing. But while that rental chain is struggling, a vending machine company rented out its one billionth movie early in September.

Then again, if the only reason I spend money with this company is when they are liquidating inventory, that might explain why Blockbuster is struggling.

Funny. I remember growing up people bitching about Blockbuster video driving out local video rental businesses. Makes me wonder what’s going to deep-six Netflix and those red DVD rental machines.

Uh, OK.

Katy Perry’s cleavage is fine for Russell Brand—not so for Elmo and Sesame Street. The children’s show says it won’t air a taped segment featuring the “California Gurls” singer and Elmo. The pop star—who is known for her risque outfits—wore a gold bustier top as she sang a version of her hit “Hot N Cold.” But some felt it was too revealing for the kid set.

Sesame Street said in a statement Thursday that in light of the “feedback we’ve received” after the bit was aired on YouTube, they won’t include it on the show. While the show said it was still available on YouTube, it had been removed by the official Sesame Street YouTube channel. Other versions on YouTube have generated thousands of hits.

Well, like any bona fide pervert journalist, I have to see this evidence for myself and determine the risque-ness of Mr. Perry’s outfit.

What the hell did I just watch?

It’s been years since I watched “Sesame Street,” so I can’t compare Perry’s wardrobe to other human characters. If the show’s movers-and-shakers thought Perry’s funbags would be a distraction, then so be it. My question is why didn’t anyone from the show nip this in the bud when Perry arrived on the set? OK, so I can see why the male employees wouldn’t have said anything, but still. I also doubt it was Perry’s intention to corrupt the morals of today’s youth. Well, maybe that is her intention, but not with kids who still watch “Sesame Street.”

I have to admit, after hearing the actual Hot ‘n Cold song and previously listening to her California Gurls track, I have to admit I like Perry’s voice. And I have no idea why.

Oh God, I’m that old guy at the club.

This has clusterfuck written all over it.

It’s official: Randy Jackson, Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez are now American Idol judges.

Idol host Ryan Seacrest introduced the new lineup at a press conference Thursday held at the Forum in Los Angeles, where first-round auditions are being held.

Randy was the one holdover from the original panel of judges, which also included Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell.

I’m not an Idol viewer, but the better half is for some ungodly reason. We had a discussion abut this topic today, and here is what I said on the matter.

I have no clue how these judges will work as a team, but my guess is that Tyler and Jackson will be sympathetic while Lopez will play Simon’s role. In other words, Lopez will be the asshole of the group.

Problem is, I think, that people aren’t going to watch Lopez in this role and go, “ahahahaha — I can’t believe she just said that to that poor contestant.” They are going to watch her and go, “What a bitch.”

And while a contestant who tries to pull this off during an audition would never make the light of day on television…

…you just know news of this would get leaked out.

So now the better half is taping “Dancing With The Stars” this season because … Kurt Warner is one of the contestants.

She should just start hiding outside his house with a pair of binoculars and get it over with right now.

Actually, there’s a funny post-story to this … story. After I commented on this matter at my Facebook wall, someone made some … not so nice comments about the former NFL quarterback. This of course pissed off Mrs. kkk, and she said to me, “Why would someone want to wish death upon another person. That’s so cruel. Nobody should ever have that wished upon them … unless they are Michael Vick. Because he killed dogs.”

Please note, this is the same woman who is married to a person who has routinely wished pain and suffering upon untold masses of people — and that’s just including those I dated.

So last night I saw “The Departed” once again.

No matter what you achieve in your career Mr. Wahlberg, you’ll always be Marky Mark to me.

I like the guy as an actor. Actually, a more accurate definition would be I’m indifferent to the guy as an actor (it’s still a compliment). But I can’t help but think “Marky Mark” every time I see him in a fictional role. Same goes with Snoop Dogg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Sorry, guys. That’s just the way it is.

This pseudo-form of typecasting doesn’t only apply to hip-hop artists. The better half and I also made “Team America” one-lines to fellow “Departed” actors Matt Damon and Alec Baldwin.

I actually think Mrs. kkk and I have an unspoken competition to be the first to say each of these lines whenever Damon or Baldwin appear in a movie or television show.

I’m sure that slab of beef by the nether regions was probably cooked to at least medium by show’s end.

The animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals [PETA] is outraged by the raw meat dress worn by Lady Gaga at Sunday’s MTV Music Video Awards.

PETA believes Gaga is trying to keep herself in the spotlight with such stunts and called her dress patently offensive.

ABC News reports that Gaga said wearing the dress was “a protest against the erosion of people’s rights,” and noted if individuals don’t stand up for themselves, they’ll be left with less rights “than the meat on their bones.”

Uh, OK.

I have no idea who this person is outside of that “Disco Stick” song and I don’t care. She pissed off PETA, so I guess that’s a plus.

Oh, here’s another one-liner: Now there’s more bacteria outside of Lady Gaga than inside of her.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Tip your waitresses and try the tortured baby cow. I’m pretty sure there’s a chunk of veal on top of Gaga’s head.

With my collection of several hundred rap albums, I’m surprised that GLAAD and other groups haven’t done more in regards to protesting the homophobia in Hip-Hop Nation. Then again, I don’t think their members would fare well at a Brand Nubian concert.

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) is mounting a campaign against 50 Cent after the rapper tweeted threatening comments to blogger Perez Hilton last week, including a violent photo of two men in suits running from a mob.

“Perez Hilton calld me douchebag so I had my homie shoot up a gay wedding. wasnt his but still made me feel better,” read the tweet with the photo attached.

Fitty also Tweeted Hilton: “stop being so sensitive its a joke. Your acting like a big baby” and, “my next song will make your sweet ass dance lol chill out.”

Haha.

“It’s wrong to make jokes and promote violence against the gay community,” said GLAAD spokesman Rich Ferraro. “Taking down the post is not enough. We wanted him to tell his Twitter followers that what he did was wrong.”

So it’s OK for Perez to attack a beauty pageant contestant because she didn’t give the answer you wanted to hear, but what Fitty said was “promoting violence.” OK then.

A rep for 50 Cent had no comment. But it wasn’t the first time Fitty’s run afoul of the gay community. He told Playboy in a 2004 interview, “I ain’t into faggots. I don’t like gay people around me, because I’m not comfortable with what their thoughts are . . . I’d rather hang out with a straight dude. But women who like women, that’s cool.”

“I’d rather hang out with a straight dude. But women who like women, that’s cool.” Can’t say he doesn’t speak his mind.

His recent Twitter posts have also taken aim at unborn children and pregnant women: “I wanna do something that impact kids in a positive way, thats why im opening an abortion clinic. Ima call it 50/50 chance,” one of them read.

Oh God. I need to get on Fitty’s Twitter account. Then again, I wonder what would happen if he discovered a Twitter account named “KK’s Korner” was following him. My guess is he’d probably laugh and after a few tweet comments he’d want me to hang out with him at the club — I’m straight, after all.

But there’s no way in hell I’m taking that chance.