KK's Korner

Better to have too much work to do at your job than not enough.

It’s better to be good at being bad than it is to be bad at being good

Less than half of those eligible to vote actually do so in mid-term elections, and to that I say … Thank God.

They are called the “dumb-masses” for a reason.

“Taco night” always sounds like a good idea … at the time.

If you don’t want to hear my commentary then don’t write out a check in the express lane.

Rule #33 also applies to porno movies that try to contain some sort of plot device.

Always fast-forward 90 percent of a Godzilla movie just to get to the parts with the monsters fighting/demolishing model buildings.

Why does Big Chocolate call those mini-candy bars “fun size” when they’re anything but?

You learn something new every day, but just because you “learn” doesn’t mean you “retain.”

Any politician that wants me to publicly represent his/her campaign will never get my vote.

In the hands of a trained professional, the CC field in an email message can be a deadly (and quite entertaining) weapon.

Psycho-this and analyze-that; whatever happened to just plain ol’ crazy?

The true test of a region’s civility is how its motorists react to a flashing red stoplight at a four-way intersection.

If you would get offended by someone “liking” your Facebook status update, then maybe you shouldn’t be posting said update in the first place.

We should all be allowed to operate in a “Safe Mode” when the time calls for it … because I’m about ready to throw this piece of shit workplace computer out the window…

If you take advantage of motorists who pull over to the side of the road whenever an ambulance/fire truck/police car approaches with sirens blazing, your special place in hell is waiting next to the outdoor bagpipe studio.

Have the Joneses keep up with you.

Once you get to Day 3 of not shaving the face, just put a new blade on no matter the wear and tear of the current blade; it’s really going to hurt so you might as well make it a bearable as possible.

Whatever the number of times you are supposed to douse something with those butter spray bottles, you’re probably not supposed to do so many that you lose track of the squirt count.

Before rummaging around your office looking for something someone sent you via snail mail, make sure said person actually sent it.

Liberals like to be righteous with other people’s money; conservatives like to be investing with other people’s money.

No matter how serious the subject matter, it will be funny if you add the Benny Hill Theme.

No matter how much you try to err on the side of freedom when it comes to living your life or making a decision, some days are easier than others.

It’s important not to give a crap about situations you don’t care about; you’ve only got so much crap to give and it’s important to ration.

If you don’t take care of #1, you’ll feel like #2.

Making people perform tasks you don’t want to do; delegation rocks.

If you want to look up information on the First Lady, don’t let wookieepedia.com fool you — it’s a Star Wars site.

The only people women dress up for are other women; that’s why you don’t see many lesbians dolling themselves up.

No matter what your opinion is of something (a person, place, product, etc.), it will always be a few notches above juggalos.

When sending out a work-related email, make sure the previous messages included in this correspondence are free of any incriminating material (particularly phrases like “Kenyan Coffee Fetcher”).

Unless you want to be Cornholio v 2.0, don’t ever have a Starbucks doubleshot for lunch.

Ninety percent of your ideas are stupid — the trick is finding the ones that aren’t and making the most out of them.

Is it really necessary to have a viable third political party in this country — aren’t two of them bad enough?

When your coworker presents a REALLY stupid idea, try to make sure they’re joking and not being serious before you make any comments.

If everything is a top priority, then nothing is a top priority.

There IS a difference between “heat” and a “dry heat.”

Anyone using WIC or food stamps for brand-name items should only be allowed to “purchase” these goods when they are on sale or if a coupon is used in the transaction.

Just because you don’t remember something you said/did, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

If the tattoo you want looks like something I can draw, it’s probably not a good idea.