KK's Korner

OK, so for the last year or so these !@#$% stinkbugs have been showing up. This article gives a little history about these buggers.

Two comments:

1) It figures they first showed up in the eastern side of my commonwealth. All the trash seems to originate there.

Steve Jacobs, a Penn State University urban entomologist, says on his popular stink bug website that the Asian insect first was collected in the United States in 1998 in Allentown, Lehigh County, though he says it probably arrived earlier. It’s now spread to at least 37 counties but most likely exists statewide, and is found in many other states as well.

2) “Strong survival skills? Next to Democrats, these things are the dumbest creatures I have ever encountered.

It is almost as wide as it is long, has a piercing mouth that sucks juices from apples, peaches, tomatoes, green peppers, beans, squash, corn and other vegetables, along with soybeans. Sturdy and persistent with a strong survival instinct, it is named after its most notable weapon.

These things just sit there motionless until croaking, and if one gets flipped they are helpless. I’ve actually seen more than one walk on a smooth floor, trip over itself and end up on its back. And these things can FLY.

Oh boo-hoo. Maybe these shitheads shouldn’t have killed a prison guard.

Two US prisoners who have been held in solitary confinement for nearly 40 years should have their isolation ended immediately, Amnesty International said Tuesday.

Albert Woodfox, 64, and Herman Wallace, 69, have been held in solitary at Louisiana State Penitentiary ever since they were convicted of murdering a prison guard in 1972, the London-based human rights group said.

Their four-decade ordeal “is cruel and inhumane and a violation of the US’s obligations under international law,” said Guadalupe Marengo, Amnesty’s Americas deputy director.

This is why I’m not always a huge fan of the death penalty. Here’s the life of a security guard killer:

Amnesty said the men were confined to their cells, measuring two metres (6.5 feet) by three metres, for 23 hours a day, and have never been allowed to work or have access to education.

Good.

I’m posting this right now just so I can get this out there before the NY Post headline writers do.

Rep. Anthony’s Weiner (D-N.Y.) has scheduled a press conference for Monday at 4 p.m., presumably in response to a series of shirtless photos of the congressman posted on the conservative website BigGovernment.com this afternoon.

According to the site, the photos came from a woman who says the congressman sent them to her.

Weiner is coming off a tough week of dancing around questions about a photo of a man’s crotch that appeared on his Twitter account. He maintains he didn’t send the tweet, but could not say “with certitude” whether the photograph was of him.

I don’t know what Anthony’s Weiner’s press conference going on right now, but in case he’s resigning I want to post the folloiwng headline:

Weiner Pulls Out

Suckers.

Officials at Duquesne University do not expect any money to remain in WDUQ’s accounts when the station signs off this month.

That does not sit well with some longtime supporters of the jazz and National Public Radio station, the license for which is being bought for $6 million by Essential Public Media, a locally owned nonprofit group. Essential Public Media intends to turn WDUQ into an all-news station, except for six hours of jazz on Saturday nights, starting July 1.

“They say there is a value on that station, but that value includes me,” said Robert Cowan, 56, of McMurray, a monthly WDUQ donor. “There is too much money invested by the community in jazz at WDUQ over the years for it to be stolen from us. I want my money back.”

The university said the station raised more than $1 million last year from listeners through pledge drives.

“It has a history of running a deficit,” Duquesne spokeswoman Bridget Fare said.

Read more: Longtime WDUQ supporters won’t get money back – Pittsburgh Tribune-Review

From what I hear, this is some NPR station, and whenever NPR listeners get screwed like this it makes me a happy panda.

And why should the station give money back from donors? You give money to a place and they can do whatever they want with the cash. Now an exception to this is if you are donating to a specific cause or purpose, but even then that’s not a rock-solid guarantee; Red Cross 9/11 funds, anyone?

Interesting.

I have seen a number of Facebook accounts that featured people’s pets — I actually have someone’s cat on my friend’s list. But don’t go putting up any profiles of fetuses.

Apparently parents-to-be, Ellie and Matt Greene’s idea to give their unborn child a Facebook page was too much for Facebook. Facebook’s terms of service state users must be 13 years of age, but common sense would point out, an unborn fetus PROBABLY isn’t really using the Social Network. Boy, those Facebook guys are sticklers to the rules!

Marriah’s parents Ellie and Matt created the profile for their unborn child, as a means to announce the coming child, says

Wall comments from friends and family are a welcoming daily read such as:

Wall comments from friends and family are a welcoming daily read such as:

“Can’t wait to see you and hold you.”
“Beautiful girl, can’t wait to see you!”

The unborn baby has even taken to responding to folks:

– “I cannot believe I am on CNN and all over the world!”
– “IKEA is fun, mom is doing the shopping thing again. What is she going to get me now?”

Marriah even has a profile. The unborn’s interests run the gamut from swimming, to Baby Bach and Lady Gaga, to sucking her thumb. Marriah’s dad is her favorite athlete and she even lists God as her employer.

The expectant parents plan to continue updating Marriah’s page until she arrives.

What better way to celebrate the creation of life than with a Facebook page! What do you think about this, readers?

Without batting an eye, I know why Facebook played Profile Gestapo with this particular account — I can see the argument of “Well we don’t want aborted fetuses populating our website.” OK, but you can make the same assumption of PETA or some other whacked-out group posting animal accounts of abused pets or livestock. And if Facebook has given a cow account the ban-hammer, then I’ll give kudos.

Now if I REALLY wanted to go wild on this, this would be the part of the entry where I would say Facebook gives more respect to animals than it does human life. But I’m not going wild in this entry, so I won’t.

And here I thought the only McJobs took place in the 1980s.

According to the unemployment data released this morning, the economy added only 54,000 jobs, pushing the unemployment rate up to 9.1 percent. However, this report from MarketWatch suggests the data is much worse than that:

“McDonald’s ran a big hiring day on April 19 — after the Labor Department’s April survey for the payrolls report was conducted — in which 62,000 jobs were added. That’s not a net number, of course, and seasonal adjustment will reduce the Hamburglar impact on payrolls. (In simpler terms — restaurants always staff up for the summer; the Labor Department makes allowance for this effect.) Morgan Stanley estimates McDonald’s hiring will boost the overall number by 25,000 to 30,000. The Labor Department won’t detail an exact McDonald’s figure — they won’t identify any company they survey — but there will be data in the report to give a rough estimate.”

If Morgan Stanley is correct, about half of last month’s job growth came from the venerable fast-food chain. That is hardly the sign of a healthy economy.

With the jobs report that came out today, this ass-clown may get his wish.

President Hussein’s solicitor general, defending the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s 2010 health care take-over, on Wednesday, told a federal appeals court that Americans who didn’t like the individual mandate could always avoid it by choosing to earn less money.

Question I have for these “economists.” Do they have to meet payrolls of their own?

Employers hired far fewer workers than expected in May and the jobless rate rose to 9.1 percent as high energy prices and the effects of Japan’s earthquake bogged down the economy.

Nonfarm payrolls increased 54,000 last month, the weakest reading since September, the Labor Department said on Friday. Private employment rose just 83,000, the least since last June, while government payrolls dropped 29,000.

Economists had expected payrolls to rise 150,000 and private hiring to increase 175,000 in May. The government revised employment figures for March and April to show 39,000 fewer jobs created than previously estimated.

Looks like we need to hire more government workers.

Wow. And I remember when I was told that our former president was the stupid one in government.

The Kenyan Koffee Fetcher’s solicitor general, defending the national takeover of health care law on Wednesday, told a federal appeals court that Americans who didn’t like the individual mandate could always avoid it by choosing to earn less money.

Neal Kumar Katyal, the acting solicitor general, made the argument under questioning before the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit in Cincinnati, which was considering an appeal by the Thomas More Law Center. (Listen to oral arguments here.) The three-judge panel, which was comprised of two Republican-appointed judges and a Democratic-appointed judge, expressed more skepticism about the government’s defense of the health care law than the Fourth Circuit panel that heard the Virginia-based Obamacare challenge last month in Richmond. The Fourth Circuit panel was made up entirely of Democrats, and two of the judges were appointed by Obama himself.

During the Sixth Circuit arguments, Judge Jeffrey Sutton, who was nominated by President George W. Bush, asked Kaytal if he could name one Supreme Court case which considered the same question as the one posed by the mandate, in which Congress used the Commerce Clause of the U.S. Constitution as a tool to compel action.

Kaytal conceded that the Supreme Court had “never been confronted directly” with the question, but cited the Heart of Atlanta Motel case as a relevant example. In that landmark 1964 civil rights case, the Court ruled that Congress could use its Commerce Clause power to bar discrimination by private businesses such as hotels and restaurants.

“They’re in the business,” Sutton pushed back. “They’re told if you’re going to be in the business, this is what you have to do. In response to that law, they could have said, ‘We now exit the business.’ Individuals don’t have that option.”

Kaytal responded by noting that there’s a provision in the health care law that allows people to avoid the mandate.

“If we’re going to play that game, I think that game can be played here as well, because after all, the minimum coverage provision only kicks in after people have earned a minimum amount of income,” Kaytal said. “So it’s a penalty on earning a certain amount of income and self insuring. It’s not just on self insuring on its own. So I guess one could say, just as the restaurant owner could depart the market in Heart of Atlanta Motel, someone doesn’t need to earn that much income. I think both are kind of fanciful and I think get at…”

Sutton interjected, “That wasn’t in a single speech given in Congress about this…the idea that the solution if you don’t like it is make a little less money.”

Dear Pittsburgh Parking Tax Hike: thanks for reminding me why I choose not to live within Allegheny County. xoxoxoxoxo

The cost of Pittsburgh’s parking meters is on the rise, although one official with the Downtown Pittsburgh Partnership thinks the increase will have a minimal effect on commuters or those visiting the city.

The Pittsburgh Parking Authority ratified an earlier decision by Pittsburgh City Council to raise the parking meter rates in nearly all areas of the city; the change, which took effect Wednesday but won’t be evident until meters are converted in the next couple of weeks, will also extend meter enforcement hours until 10 p.m. in the city’s busier neighborhoods.

The change is part of a continuing squabble between Mayor Luke Ravenstahl and the authority — the parties who were almost successful in leasing the city’s parking assets to a private firm last year — and the city council, which scuttled that deal in the hope in finding another way to raise money for the city’s underfunded pension accounts.

That squabble is likely to continue, but in the mind of Lucinda Beattie, the Pittsburgh Downtown Partnership’s vice president for transportation and parking, the change in the meter rates isn’t going to be a detriment to those visiting the city.

“The impact is going to be much less than what would have happened if the city had leased its parking assets,” Beattie said, noting that meters in Chicago, which leased its assets to a private firm, will cost $5 an hour starting next year. “Parking is still a bargain in Pittsburgh, even with these increases.”

Beattie said commuters aren’t using metered spaces on a day-to-day basis; they use pre-paid lots or cheaper remote lots in the Strip District or the North Shore.

“And the people who are coming into the city for an event still have plenty of spaces in garages or the stadium lots to choose from,” she said.

You know, it’s not so much the $3 per hour of metered parking (no clue how much it was before because I stay away from the city as much as possible), but rather the extended enforcement that is going to get under people’s skin.

The money isn’t going to come with the extra few quarters. It’s going to come with the extra tickets because I doubt people carry 12+ quarters in their pockets. When I heard this story on the local snooze broadcast, the teleprompter reader didn’t say if these meters are going to have credit-card access.

Here’s another thing I’m wondering about regarding the extended meters: will there be a safety issue with someone going out at 9 pm to put another batch of quarters in the meter? The article said the extended times will apply to certain areas of the city. I heard that the previous time meter enforcement ended was 6 pm.

And finally, I have to laugh because (as the the article I posted said), this tax hike will probably not affect the commuters as much as the locals. But hey, those city pensions ain’t going to pay for themselves.

Now if you will excuse me, I’ll head back to my place in suburbia where it costs a dime to feed the meter for God knows how long.

Anthony’s Weiner. I’m done.

Rep. Anthony Weiner, in an interview with Fox News, said Wednesday he’s certain he did not send a lewd photo of somebody’s bulging underwear to a college student via Twitter. But the congressman repeatedly declined to say whether the picture was an image of him.

The congressman, who described the incident as “mischief,” continued to allege that he was the victim of a computer hacker. He said he’s asked an Internet security firm and a law firm to take a “hard look” at the incident and find out what happened, though he suggested he doesn’t want to make a federal case out of it. He said somebody is just trying to distract him.

“I know for a fact that my account was hacked,” Weiner told Fox News. “I can definitively say that I did not send this.”

He also said he “certainly” does not know the college student the image was sent to — though, when asked repeatedly, Weiner declined to say whether he was shown in the image.

The New York Democrat, who is known for his combative style in interviews and on the House floor, granted a series of TV interviews after getting testy with reporters late Tuesday.

At the time, he repeatedly said he would not allow the incident to distract him from his job, as he likened what he described as a “prank” to somebody shouting out an insult or throwing a pie during a speech.

Asked point-blank, “Is that picture you?” Weiner replied, “You know I’m not going to talk about this anymore.”

“This is the tactic. The guy in the back of the room who’s throwing the pie or yelling out the insult wants that to be the conversation,” Weiner told reporters. “But I am not going to allow this thing to dominate what I talk about.”

As reporters continued to ask him for several minutes whether he sent the image, the exchange became heated. At one point, Weiner referred to a reporter in the scrum as a “jackass.”

Weiner referred to prior statements his office had put out, indicating he was through talking about the matter.

Though Weiner’s office had earlier responded to media inquiries, a few details appear to be keeping the story alive.

Weiner’s office initially said the congressman’s account was “obviously hacked,” but the representative has since taken to calling the incident a “prank” — he used both terms Wednesday.

The U.S. Capitol Police so far have not opened an investigation into the matter.

Dude, you’re a Democrat. Just say you did the do and that will be the end of things.

Don’t be such a … dick.

He’s probably going to make matters worse by extending this out longer than he should.

Although it’s a good thing he’s a powerful politician and any punishment he receives won’t involve the penal system.

OK, now I’m done.

This violence is a big deal 15 months before the region hosts the 2012 Democrat National Convention. Really?

Note this isn’t sarcasm. I don’t see the big deal.

Now if the area is shithole, that’s another matter. However, I’m sure the security is going to be so tight I don’t think gangbangers will be that big a concern. I don’t see a drive-by happening to the Muslim Wookie Fucker.

One person was fatally shot and another wounded early Sunday after several hours of trouble in uptown Charlotte that ended with police trying to break up crowds and making 70 arrests.

The shootings took place shortly after 1 a.m. across 3rd Street from the Hilton hotel, two hours after Food Lion Speed Street had closed. Antwan Terrell Smith, 22, was shot in the head and died at the scene. Durante Kavon James, also 22, was shot in the leg and taken to Carolinas Medical Center, where he was in stable condition late Sunday.

The gunfire followed reports of unrest – which police say could be gang-related – centered largely around the Charlotte Transit Center between 4th and Trade streets. The charges were one of the city’s largest mass arrests in memory.

The trouble comes 15 months before Charlotte hosts the 2012 Democratic National Convention – which likely will ensure close scrutiny of what happened.

The core of DNC events will take place at Time Warner Cable Arena and the Charlotte Convention Center. They are blocks from the shooting scene and the Charlotte Transit Center, where police were sent early Sunday to disperse large groups, according to Charlotte Mecklenburg police spokesman Officer Robert Fey.

The ACLU argues that giving the middle finger to a police officer is “protected speech.”

A harassment charge has been dropped in the case of a 35-year-old Colorado man who faced prosecution for displaying his middle finger to a Colorado State Patrol trooper.

The State Patrol said in a statement late Friday that it asked that the case be dropped.

The American Civil Liberties Union had argued that while the gesture may be have been rude, it amounted to protected free speech.

According to the ACLU, Shane Boor was driving to work in April when he saw a trooper pull over a car. As Boor passed by, he extended his middle finger in the trooper’s direction.

Boor was later stopped and received a criminal summons ordering him to appear in court to answer a criminal charge of harassment, which carries a possible six-month jail term.

The next time I see one of their representatives on TV, I’ll be sure to remind them of this.

I’ve heard about these type of stories before. I remember a similar case taking place in this region a year or three ago. How about not telling an officer of the law to fuck off because you are a dumb ass?

Really nothing much else to say other than my usual piss-on-the-ACLU rhetoric.

“A spokesperson did not say which route the mail carrier has been assigned to cover.” I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough once people start mowing their lawns and notice any unusual … deliveries.

A mail carrier who was caught using a yard as his personal toilet will not be fired.

The incident happened last month at a home in southeast Portland and a neighbor, Don Derfler, captured the man in the act with his camera.

Derfler had been waiting for his babysitter when he saw his mailman acting odd at his neighbor’s house across the street. The postal worker then pulled down his pants and that’s when Derfler began snapping pictures.

“We trust people like the postal service and meter readers and people of that nature,” Derfler told us when we interviewed him in April. “To come on to our property and to defecate – it’s just wrong.”

The incident was an embarrassment to the post office and the worker was immediately placed on unpaid leave. Now, a decision has been made to keep the worker but he will be transferred to a different route.

A spokesperson said the administrative action was taken based on a postal service investigation but he did not elaborate. He also did not say which route the mail carrier has been assigned to cover.

You know, with the unemployment number as high as it is, can’t the fine people at the post office be able to find someone to replace this mailman that won’t … oh I don’t know … not TAKE A SHIT on somebody’s property? Is that too much to ask?

Are you better off on this 24 May 2008 than you were on the previous 24 May 2008?

The Muslim Wookie Fucker stopped to sign the guest book during a tour of Westminster Abbey in London. He wrote “It is a great privilege to commemorate our common heritage, and common sacrifice.”

Below his signature, the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher wrote “24 May 2008.”

If he makes such errors when signing a guest book, I’m sure that birth certificate is 100-percent accurate.

And I just renewed my domain name. Uh-oh…

The White House has named Jesse Lee to a new position within its communications department titled Director of Progressive Media & Online Response. According to The Huffington Post, Lee will essentially be responsible for building up the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher’s online presence as he prepares for his reelection bid, and squashing any negative stories:

The post is a new one for this White House. Rapid response has usually been outsourced to the Democratic National Committee (DNC), if not done on an ad-hoc basis by administration officials. And it signals that the White House will be adopting a more aggressive defense of the president and his policies as his re-election campaign gears up.

I swear to Allah I want to set up one of these “talent searches” and then sterilize every parent that shows up thinking their kid will star in the upcoming Twilight Red Dawn film.

Disney is reacting following a KDKA Investigation into a talent scouting event for kids.

It was called “The Event.” More than 1,000 people attended at The Wyndham Hotel in downtown Pittsburgh last weekend.

Disney was mentioned five times in the promotion of the event on local radio stations last week.

Now, Disney says, “We do not have an affiliation with that organization.” Disney also says they have lawyers looking into the matter.

One local talent recruiter says professional agencies operate in a different manner.

Deb Docherty, who runs a talent agency, in Pittsburgh says, “We’re licensed in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. We work hard at what we do. We work on commissions only. We don’t make any money until we get the talent money.”

KDKA Investigator Marty Griffin brought his children to “The Event” last weekend. Hundreds of people who made appointments also attended.

Many of the parents were called back the next day and told participation in “The Event” could cost thousands of dollars.

One man was asked to pay nearly $2,000. A Pittsburgh woman was told the program would cost nearly $8,000.

“I say put it in the bank. That’s what you should do with your money – not spend it on modeling classes or scams,” said Docherty.

Organizers of the event say everything is above board. Organizers say they don’t promise anyone anything. Organizers also say they have no affiliation with Disney.

Still, people like Allison Kennedy, who brought her 9-year-old daughter to the event left disappointed.

“She’s our child that does it all,” she said. “When we got up there and I started reading it and realized that it’s more where you’re going to pay to go into competition, it’s not what we were looking for.”

“The Event” organizers say it’s a family-friendly competition for the performing arts held at various Walt Disney World Resorts. “The Event” organizers say they are not an agency, casting company or management firm.

Meantime, several KDKA-TV viewers say they will be filing complaints with the Pennsylvania Attorney General’s Office.

I’ll give a pass to a parent if s/he went to this event knowing full well it was a scam, but if you are an adult and you were genuinely upset with finding out your kid wasn’t going to be whisked away to some movie set, then you shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. Hell, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

For weeks leading up to this event I heard the radio ads promoting this “one-in-a-lifetime” opportunity. Anyone who thought this was legit probably expects a van to show up at their residence with several people carrying balloons and a really big check.

Well he DID tell everyone in class to turn around.

A substitute teacher at Riverdale Elementary School in Clayton County is charged with child molestation after students said he urinated into a trash can inside a classroom.

The teacher, 60-year-old Coleman Eaton Jr., appeared in court Thursday.

Channel 2′s Tom Jones was in court and said a judge gave Eaton a $50,000 bond.

Eaton said it was apple juice that he was pouring in the trash can. But police said they have the evidence that proves it wasn’t.

Jones talked to one parent who said her daughter saw the substitute zipping up his pants after the act.

“I want the guy to never teach or be around kids again, parent Tika Carter said.

Riverdale police Maj. Greg Barney said Eaton reportedly walked to the back of the class on Wednesday, told the fourth-graders not to turn around and urinated into a garbage can. He said one of the students went to the school office and made a complaint.

Barney said officers went to the school and interviewed the students and Eaton, then placed him under arrest.

No one answered the door when Jones went to Eaton’s home Thursday looking for a comment.

“He didn’t come across as somebody that would do something like that,” said neighbor Marty Holder.

You’ve got Great Society, and then you’ve got Greater Society.

A Michigan man who won $2 million in a state lottery game continues to collect food stamps 11 months after striking it rich.

And there’s nothing the state can do about it, at least for now.

Leroy Fick, 59, of Auburn won $2 million in the state lottery TV show “Make Me Rich!” last June. But the state’s Department of Human Services determined he was still eligible for food stamps, Fick’s attorney, John Wilson of Midland, said Tuesday.

Eligibility for food stamps is based on gross income and follows federal guidelines; lottery winnings are considered liquid assets and don’t count as income. As long as Fick’s gross income stays below the eligibility requirement for food stamps, he can receive them, even if he has a million dollars in the bank.

Food stamps are paid for through tax dollars and are meant to help support low-income families.

“If you’re going to try to make me feel bad, you’re not going to do it,” Fick told WNEM-TV in Saginaw on Monday.

Wilson said Fick told the DHS officials he’d won $2 million but was told he could keep using the Bridge Card issued to him to buy groceries.

Fick could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

Al Kimichik, director of the office of inspector general for DHS, said the department could not comment on individual cases but that it this week began the process of requesting a waiver from the federal government to close the lottery loophole. If it is granted, assets would be counted in determining food stamp eligibility.

Though the food stamp program is federal and states must follow U.S. guidelines, states sometimes request waivers of rules. Michigan was granted a waiver recently to stop college students from qualifying for food stamps.

So college students could also collect food stamps for a time. Food Stamp Nation indeed.

And something tells me that in another year or two Fick would have depleted his lottery winnings and will be back on the dole again. That is if he was ever off the dole to begin with.

So earlier this week my commonwealth had some primary elections. And like a good citizen, I went and voted. Actually, I voted on some statewide judicial races; I had no idea who some of the local candidates were. When I don’t know someone, I don’t vote in that race. Sad thing is I actually put forth an effort to get an idea of who’s running in local elections, but sometimes there is zero coverage in the local fishwrap on them — and let’s not even discuss websites.

Anyway, as Mrs. kkk and I were entering our usual voting place this couple approached us and asked if we voted Democrat. My response was, of course, “Hell no!”

I honestly have no clue as to what was said next. I thought she was asking if we were Republicans. I also have no clue as to what I said next, but I know the f-bomb was dropped. I think I said, “Fuck yeah.”

Whoops.

I have no idea why that came out. I think I had a little “Team America” playing in my head or something. After that remark, the lady got pissed and started bitching about how there’s no need to be rude and that she’s been out in the rain all day blahblahbalh.

And just how is that my problem?

Of course, when we left the voting booth, Mrs. kkk waiting until I was outside and IN THE CAR before coming out and passing by these idiots again. On the drive home, she said asked me what I said. After I told her, she replied, “Well that explains the why-are-you-with-him look she gave me; you know I get that look a lot.”

Yes, I know.

Oh, and all my judges won their primary contests. Go me.

These jokes write themselves.

Political insiders and former colleagues of former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger expressed a variety of reactions to the news of Schwarzenegger’s love child Tuesday, with several telling FOX411.com that the revelation did not come as a surprise.

Last week, Schwarzenegger and his wife Maria Shriver announced they were separating after 25 years of marriage. On Tuesday, he announced that he had fathered a child out of wedlock with a woman who worked for him for 20 years.

Looks like his state’s budget wasn’t the only thing he busted.

I guess it really wasn’t a tooo-mah.

And for the Unplanned Idon’twannabeaparenthood crowd out there — If it bleeds, we can kill it.

I think the funniest thing about these stories about media coverage is that Carney used to be a reporter, and listening to him talk about media restrictions is frickin’ hysterical.

Increasingly the White House is distancing itself from news reporters, withholding vital information from the press and the public, and essentially dictating to the media when and where they are allowed to video or take pictures of the President.

In what was supposed to be ‘the most transparent Administration in history,’ the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher Administration has increasingly miffed reporters, leaving them totally in the dark concerning the decision-making process, with former Press Secretary Robert Gibbs declaring curtly, ‘Some things should not be done in publc view,’ meaning of course that this White House and this Occupier of the White House have become perhaps the most closed and hidden Administration in history.

Oh yeah. This gets me all fired up about you getting the nomination.

Former Gov. Mitt Romney laid out in painstaking detail Thursday his argument that the health care plan he passed in Massachusetts is fundamentally different from the national law that the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher passed rammed down our throats and shoved up our asses, and that conservatives loathe.

Is it too late to bring back McCain? Yeah, that’s what I think about the Mormon. At least McCain had an OK logo.

Giving money to people that can’t afford to pay back a loan. This sounds like a GREAT idea. Ask Barney Fwank.

Community activists in St. Louis became concerned a couple of years ago that local banks weren’t offering credit to the city’s poor and African American residents. So they formed a group called the St. Louis Equal Housing and Community Reinvestment Alliance and began writing complaint letters to federal regulators.

Apparently, someone in Washington took notice. The Federal Reserve has cited one of the group’s targets, Midwest BankCentre, a small bank that has been operating in St. Louis’s predominantly white, middle-class suburbs for over a century, for failing to issue home mortgages or open branches in disadvantaged areas. Although executives at the bank say they don’t discriminate, Midwest BankCentre’s latest annual report says it is in the process of negotiating a settlement with the U.S. Justice Dept. over its lending practices.

Lawyers and bank consultants say regulators and the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s Administration are scrutinizing financial institutions for a practice that last drew attention before the rise of subprime lending: redlining. The term dates from the 1930s, when the Federal Housing Administration drew up maps using red ink to delineate inner-city neighborhoods considered too risky for lending. Congress later passed laws banning lending discrimination on the basis of race and other characteristics. “The agencies have refocused on redlining because, in the wake of the subprime explosion and sudden implosion, they are looking at these disadvantaged neighborhoods and not seeing any credit access,” says Jo Ann Barefoot, co-chair at Treliant Risk Advisors in Washington, D.C., which consults with banks on regulatory issues.

Gag.

I’ve been seeing a bunch of political ads for local races. This is only reminding me of what’s to come next year.

For whatever reason, pundits seem to think Pennsylvania is going to be a battleground state. It’s not.

We’re overrun by Democrats. Whoever the Republican nomination turns out to be won’t stand a chance of winning. Hell, people actually thought McCain would be competitive in ’08. It wasn’t close.

By the way, I wasn’t one of those people.

In addition to the Muslim Wookie Fucker being up for re-election, there’s also going to be a Senate opening. The Democrat incumbent is the son of a popular former governor. He’s going to get re-elected. The turnout spike this empty suit will provide already makes this state an easy win for the Democrats.

And I’m still going to get bombarded by stupid ads. Oh joy.

My opinion on this may surprise you.

The Kenyan Koffee Fetcher administration has floated a transportation authorization bill that would require the study and implementation of a plan to tax automobile drivers based on how many miles they drive.

The plan is a part of the administration’s Transportation Opportunities Act, an undated draft of which was obtained this week by Transportation Weekly.

The White House, however, said the bill is only an early draft that was not formally circulated within the administration.

Charging per mile driven on a public road doesn’t make me recoil in horror as much as you would think. Of course, the trade-off for me would be eliminating all federal gas taxes at the pump. And since that’s never going to happen … HUSSEIN LIED FAMILY TRIPS DIED~!~!

Uh oh. Now we’re really going to make the Muslims mad. Durka Durka Mohammad Jihad.

Osama bin Laden, hunted as the mastermind behind the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil, has been killed, President Hussein announced tonight.

The Muslim Wookie-Fucker called the killing of bin Laden the “most significant achievement to date” in the effort to defeat al Qaeda.

“Justice has been done,” Osama said.

Bin Laden was located at a compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, which was monitored and when the time was determined to be right, the president said, he authorized a “targeted operation.”

“A small team of Americans carried out the operation,” the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher said. “After a firefight, they killed Osama bin Laden and took custody of his body.”

DNA testing confirmed that it was bin Laden, sources told ABC News.

Yeah, like I’m supposed to believe this.

Despite previously revealing an official “certification of live birth”, which showed the Muslim Wookie Fucker was born in Hawaii, rumours persisted.

Now the White House have caved in to the pressure and hope the move will be a final blow to “birther” theorists who have insisted Mr Hussein was born in his father’s native Kenya, making him ineligible to hold office.

The Kenyan Koffee Fetcher a said he had watched, puzzled and bemused, as the conspiracy grew over the past years.

He said: “We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do. I have better stuff to do, like turning the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave into another Third-World Shithole.

Like there was any doubt this was a Photoshopped. Look at the shadows.

Guess this is George Soros’ answer to Pat Robertson when he blames a natural disaster on the queers/heathens/lactose intolerant/etc:

The left-leaning Center for American Progress published a blog post Thursday blaming Republicans for the tornadoes that devastated the South earlier this week.

“The congressional delegations of these states – Alabama, Tennessee, Mississippi, Georgia, Virginia, and Kentucky – overwhelmingly voted to reject the science that polluting the climate is dangerous,” wrote CAP’s Brad Johnson. “They are deliberately ignoring the warning from scientists.”

Johnson’s justification is that climate scientist Kevin Trenberth warned the American Meteorological Society in January that “Given that global warming is unequivocal, the null hypothesis should be that all weather events are affected by global warning rather than the inane statements along the lines of ‘of course we cannot attribute any particular weather event to global warming.’”

At the last count, the tornadoes has claimed 297 lives – the greatest number of deaths by tornadoes since April of 1974 when 315 people were killed throughout the South and Midwest. President Obama traveled to Alabama – the hardest-hit state – Friday morning to survey the damage, after signing an Alabama Disaster Declaration.

Johnson has not yet returned The Daily Caller’s request for comment.

When I hear the co-workers say to each other, “OMG OMG DID YOU SEE IT (the wedding)?” that tells me it’s time to close my office door.

I don’t hold any ill will toward the parties involved. I just don’t care. At least on the bright side of things, those goofy hats these chicks are wearing — across the Pond and over here — can be used again when the Kentucky Derby rolls around next month.

Earlier this week I commented on the NRA holding its national convention in my neck of the woods. There’s actually a pseudo-story that deals with one of our local restaurants and some DRAMUH~!

Primanti Bros. will stuff a lot into sandwiches, but not politics.

Officials at the Pittsburgh institution were “completely caught by surprise” Tuesday by claims from gun supporters that the sandwich shop is anti-firearms and should be boycotted during this weekend’s giant National Rifle Association convention Downtown. The claims were based upon photos a gun-control group posted of a visit to their Strip District location in February, in which they mugged for the camera with restaurant employees.

“We’re sandwich makers,” said Primanti’s operations director Marc Teklinski. “People always come down to our Strip District location and engage our staff. It’s not uncommon to take photos with the staff. It’s innocent.”

He noted their locations also have staff photos with conservatives John McCain and Glenn Beck — Mr. Beck wheeled out 400 of their sandwiches in a nationally broadcast speech from the Benedum Center in December — as well as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Primanti Bros., famous for sandwiches with fries and cole slaw piled on the meat, has been in Pittsburgh for 78 years. With an estimated 1 million NRA members in the vicinity of the city, and many more gun owners and hunters who do not belong to the group in their customer base, it probably would have been known long ago if the famous franchise was anti-gun. The current charge comes just days before the convention draws about 65,000 people into the city with their estimated $23.7 million in spending.

Pittsburgh was also a stop in February by Fix Gun Checks, a group co-founded by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg that is on a nationwide tour to promote stronger background checks for gun purchases. Mayor Luke Ravenstahl is a supporter.

During its stop in the city, officials stopped by Primanti Bros. and parked a truck saying “34 Americans Are Murdered With Guns Every Day” by the parking lot. It then posted several pictures with restaurant employees (some of them donning red Fix Gun Checks T-shirts), and others with Gun Check advocates working behind the counter.

The pro-firearms blog Snowflakes In Hell posted the pictures Monday under the title “Avoiding Anti-Gun Food in Pittsburgh.” It warned NRA members against going to the restaurant, saying, “Know that if you spend your money at Primanti Bros., you’re supporting a company that supports Bloomberg’s work to restrict our rights.”

With so many gun owners around Pittsburgh, many readers on the site were familiar with Primanti Bros. and upset by the charges. “I love their sandwiches but they won’t be getting any of my money any more,” one poster wrote. “I will truly miss the once obligatory tradition of dining at Primanti Bros. in my Pittsburgh visits,” wrote another. Another suggested leafleting the restaurants to warn NRA members against patronizing them.

The charge was picked up by other pro-gun blogs, such as the Pittsburgh-based “Lost and Found,” which had placed Primanti Bros. on top of its list of places to eat during the convention. There are two locations Downtown.

“Due to their active support of Bloomberg’s anti-gun club, I can’t recommend Primanti Bros. Their food is very good but it is definitely not the only place in town,” the site said Tuesday.

The whole thing is dumb, but whatever. Actually, if anyone was planning on robbing a place of business this weekend, Primanti’s might be the place if this “boycott” actually takes place.

So I heard on the news this morning a list of some potential Royal Wedding crashers for Friday’s big event:

IRA
Al-qaeda
organized anarchists (whatever that means)

Pft.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name deal with my family and the crack-whore sister-in-law.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name get a call from my father-in-law the day before the wedding (and two weeks after RSVPs were due) asking if it was too late to add 8 additional people, saying that “you know our family doesn’t do RSVPs.”

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name almost miss the actual ceremony because the groom was waiting for his old man to show up before heading to the church, only to at the last second that he just decided to arrive at the church without telling the groom and groomsmen.

Let’s see William and What’s-Her-Name deal with the mother-in-law coming up to them after the couple’s first dance together and telling them that William was dragging his feet.

The queen will not be amused.

Now that the HUSSEIN RECESSION has gas prices up to $4, it’s now time to hear these type of stories.

With gas prices pushing $4 a gallon, a lot of people are trying to stretch their dollar at the gas pump, but some of them are trying to stretch it a little too far.

Since the beginning of March, AAA has seen an 18 percent increase in the number of roadside calls for people running out of gas.

“I never put a lot in because I can’t afford to fill it up,” Leo Greek, a stranded motorist, said.

He says he’s not even sure how much it would cost to fill up his truck these days because he hasn’t done it for a while. He gets only what he needs and today he underestimated.

I remember a few years ago hearing stories of motorists that didn’t want to pay for $3-4 gas and would just run dry out on the highway and have AAA arrive and put in a gallon of fuel into the tank.

Yeah, I’m going to deliberately run out of gas and wait God knows how long for AAA to show up and put a gallon or two in my tank. Brilliant.

Wonder how much money in lottery tickets these geniuses spent each week?

I can’t believe it. He used STYROFOAM?!

Ira Einhorn was on stage hosting the first Earth Day event at the Fairmount Park in Philadelphia on April 22, 1970. Seven years later, police raided his closet and found the “composted” body of his ex-girlfriend inside a trunk.

A self-proclaimed environmental activist, Einhorn made a name for himself among ecological groups during the 1960s and ’70s by taking on the role of a tie-dye-wearing ecological guru and Philadelphia’s head hippie. With his long beard and gap-toothed smile, Einhorn — who nicknamed himself “Unicorn” because his German-Jewish last name translates to “one horn” —advocated flower power, peace and free love to his fellow students at the University of Pennsylvania. He also claimed to have helped found Earth Day.

But the charismatic spokesman who helped bring awareness to environmental issues and preached against the Vietnam War — and any violence — had a secret dark side. When his girlfriend of five years, Helen “Holly” Maddux, moved to New York and broke up with him, Einhorn threatened that he would throw her left-behind personal belongings onto the street if she didn’t come back to pick them up.

And so on Sept. 9, 1977, Maddux went back to the apartment that she and Einhorn had shared in Philadelphia to collect her things, and was never seen again. When Philadelphia police questioned Einhorn about her mysterious disappearance several weeks later, he claimed that she had gone out to the neighborhood co-op to buy some tofu and sprouts and never returned.

It wasn’t until 18 months later that investigators searched Einhorn’s apartment after one of his neighbors complained that a reddish-brown, foul-smelling liquid was leaking from the ceiling directly below Einhorn’s bedroom closet. Inside the closet, police found Maddux’s beaten and partially mummified body stuffed into a trunk that had also been packed with Styrofoam, air fresheners and newspapers.

After his arrest, Einhorn jumped bail and spent decades evading authorities by hiding out in Ireland, Sweden, the United Kingdom and France. After 23 years, he was finally extradited to the United States from France and put on trial. Taking the stand in his own defense, Einhorn claimed that his ex-girlfriend had been killed by CIA agents who framed him for the crime because he knew too much about the agency’s paranormal military research. He was convicted of murdering Maddux and is currently serving a life sentence.

Although Einhorn was only the master of ceremonies at the first Earth Day event, he maintains that Earth Day was his idea and that he’s responsible for launching it. Understandably, Earth Day’s organizers have distanced themselves from his name, citing Gaylord Nelson, an environmental activist and former Wisconsin governor and U.S. senator who died in 2005, as Earth Day’s official founder and organizer.

According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Sen. Gaylord Nelson created Earth Day in the spring of 1970 as a way to bring national awareness to the fact that, at the time, there were no legal or regulatory mechanisms in place to protect the environment. About 20 million participants at various Earth Day events across the U.S. made Earth Day a success, and in December of 1970, Congress authorized the creation of a new federal agency to tackle environmental issues — the EPA.

I guess in the days before George W. Bush, everybody just blamed the C.I.A.

Here’s another fun fact. The first Earth Day was to raise awareness about global COOLING.

Bright side. At least Jesse can’t have any more illegitimate children this way.

A former employee of the Rev. Jesse Jackson Sr. at the Rainbow Push Coalition has filed a bombshell wrongful termination and discrimination complaint against the civil rights leader with the City of Chicago’s Commission on Human Rights.

The complaint, filed sometime last year by Tommy R. Bennett, a regular on the Tom Joyner Radio show and member of the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s LGBT Leadership Council, includes shocking allegations about Jackson’s behavior toward the openly gay staffer including an allegation that the civil rights leader propositioned him.

Jackson has denied the allegations in a legal response that was filed in July 2010 and resurfaced when the Windy City Times published a story Tuesday.

A part of me feels bad ripping on Jesse for stuff like this. I mean, he could have paid off his baby mamma to have the fetus killed and nobody would have known — until the former baby mamma would have made it public anyway once the hush money stopped arriving in the mail.

I wonder if short ribs made the cut?

Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.

“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.

Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”

Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”

At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.

“Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school,” Carmona said. “It’s about the nutrition and the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It’s milk versus a Coke. But with allergies and any medical issue, of course, we would make an exception.”

Carmona said she created the policy six years ago after watching students bring “bottles of soda and flaming hot chips” on field trips for their lunch. Although she would not name any other schools that employ such practices, she said it was fairly common.

A Chicago Public Schools spokeswoman said she could not say how many schools prohibit packed lunches and that decision is left to the judgment of the principals.

“While there is no formal policy, principals use common sense judgment based on their individual school environments,” Monique Bond wrote in an email. “In this case, this principal is encouraging the healthier choices and attempting to make an impact that extends beyond the classroom.”

Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.

At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.

“Some of the kids don’t like the food they give at our school for lunch or breakfast,” said Little Village parent Erica Martinez. “So it would be a good idea if they could bring their lunch so they could at least eat something.”

I think the funniest part to this article is a photo of one these great school lunches.

Yeah, like any parent could possibly top that in a brown bag.

I remember back in the mid-1990s when Democrats accused Republicans of wanting to starve children by “cutting” the federal school lunch program. Well if the kiddos aren’t going to eat this shit-on-a-tray feast dictated to them by their government school, then what’s the point of funding this crap?

Look, I don’t give a crap about this show. I don’t even care about the actual interview. Why am I posting this?

To show how much Jesse Ventura has gone off the grid. Woozers.

I can’t help but laugh whenever I read one of these stories.

President Hussein said Monday that students should take fewer standardized tests and school performance should be measured in other ways. Too much testing makes education boring for kids, he said.

“Too often what we have been doing is using these tests to punish students,” the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher told students and parents at a town hall hosted by the Univision Spanish-language television network at Bell Multicultural High School in Washington, D.C.

The Muslim Wookie Fucker, who is pushing a rewrite of the nation’s education law that would ease some of its rigid measurement tools, said policymakers should find a test that “everybody agrees makes sense” and administer it in less pressure-packed atmospheres, potentially every few years instead of annually.

At the same time, Kenya’s Favorite Son said, schools should be judged on criteria other than student test performance, including attendance rate.

Why do I laugh? Because every time I read one of these stories, I can’t help but remember when the better half was off applying to Ph.D. programs and repeatedly being denied. And just why was she being denied? Because of her lower-than-average GRE score.

Never mind the fact her grades were in the high 3.0s, she had real-word experience and was on the way to graduating with a M.A. Several academics flat-out told her all they do is look at the GRE Scores. Now you might say, “But kkk, maybe there were more qualified candidates.” Well if that’s the case, then how come her much less qualified foreign classmates got into the same programs?

I’ve often heard academics whine about testing, yet they are just as guilty of doing the same thing when it comes to admissions.

For the record, not getting into a Ph.D. program was one of the best things that every happened to Mrs. kkk — and that’s coming from her.

Other people from her Masters’ program got into Ph.D. programs with worse grades and zero experience, but their GRE scores were average. Every time I hear about academics whine about testing in government schools, this memory pops into my noggin’.

Oh, I will be getting this Playboy magazine for the articles.

Helen Thomas is not sorry, nor were the comments that ended her career accidental.

“I knew exactly what I was doing – I was going for broke,” she told Playboy in the magazine’s April interview. “I had reached the point of no return. You finally get fed up … I finally wanted to speak the truth.”

Thomas, of course, left her perch as the dean of the White House press corps last year after telling a rabbi and blogger that Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and “go home” to “Poland, Germany and America and everywhere else.” Her family is Lebanese and she grew up in the Detroit area, home to one of the country’s densest populations of Arab Americans.

She spoke to Playboy at length about the situation in Palestine, her feelings on American support of Israel, and her take on Jews.

But her most controversial comments echoed ones she’s made before about the influence of Jews in American life, which have contributed to her name being stripped from journalism awards.

“[The Jews are] using their power, and they have power in every direction,” she told Playboy. “Power over the White House, power over Congress … Everybody is in the pocket of the Israeli lobbies, which are funded by wealthy supporters, including those from Hollywood. Same thing with the financial markets. There’s total control … It isn’t the 2 percent. It’s real power when you own the White House, when you own these other places in terms of your political persuasion. Of course they have power. [To the interviewer] You don’t deny that. You’re Jewish, aren’t you?”

She also had some controversial views about memorializing the Holocaust.

“There’s nothing wrong with remembering it, but why do we have to constantly remember?” she said. “We’re not at fault. I mean, if they’re going to put a Holocaust museum in every city in Germany, that’s fine with me. But we didn’t do this to the Jews. Why do we have to keep paying the price and why do they keep oppressing the Palestinians? Do the Jews ever look at themselves? Why are they always right? Because they have been oppressed throughout history, I know. And they have this persecution. That’s true, but they shouldn’t use that to dominate.”

Here’s what I’ve always wanted to know, and maybe Grandma Helen can answer this for me. When the Jews own an industry like the media, is it just one Jew that does the ownership or is it like a big mutual fund where all the Jews get a cut? Do the Jews get to take turns owning certain endeavors — all those with last names ending A-M get first crack at the banks while those with last names ending N-Z get dibs on this year’s new military contracts?

You know, I say my fair share about the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher, but enough is enough.

After the death of Osama bin Laden, some Republicans have come out and said shit like, “Well if it wasn’t for George W. Bush and his commitment to the WAR ON TERROR, the Muslim Wookie Fucker wouldn’t have been able to get bin Laden.”

Well, OK, maybe these people didn’t say, “Muslim Wookie Fucker.” But they’ve pretty much said the rest.

Come on, now. It makes you look petty and stupid.

Kenyan Koffee Fetcher followers will claim his “go-ahead” to get bin Laden is one of the most courageous things any human has done since recorded history. Equally dumb are those on the other side saying things like what I mentioned above.

Those people in the middle of the political spectrum probably give the Muslim Wookie Fucker a pat on the back for letting the military do its job and let Osama meet Allah face-to-face. These were the same people who thought, whether right or wrong, the previous president thought he was acting in the country’s best interest in regards to national security.

I guess what I’m trying to say is can’t we all just get along ONCE IN A WHILE?

Sometimes I hate partisanship — and this coming from someone that edits out the name in news articles of the current occupier in the White House.

Drill, Baby, Drill. If you’re from Brazil.

While leaving U.S. oil and jobs in the ground, the Kenyan Koffee Fetcher tells a South American neighbor that we’ll help it develop its offshore resources so we can one day import its oil. WHAT?!?

With Japan staggered by a natural disaster and a nuclear crisis, cruise missiles launched against Libya in our third Middle East conflict and a majority of U.S. senators complaining about a lack of leadership on the budget, President Obama decided it would be a good time to schmooze with Brazilians.

His “What, me worry?” presidency has given both Americans and our allies plenty to worry about. But in the process of making nice with Brazil, the Muslim Wookie Fucker made a mind-boggling announcement that should make even his most loyal supporter cringe:

We will help Brazil develop its offshore oil so we can one day import it.

“Dead Man Walker”

OMG IS SLIME MAGAZINE ADVOCATING VIOLENCE?!?!

Oh and this made me laugh.

Wiping tears from beneath her dark-rimmed glasses, Anne Moser, 47, who works for the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s science-based Water Library, said, “People know that violence doesn’t get you anywhere. The attack the Republicans have made is violent and a violation of human rights.

So unions are a “human right?” Here is the rest of the quote to show I’m not taking anything out of context.

It is an attack on the middle class. We teach our children to follow rules and to sit at the table and work it out, but that certainly hasn’t happened here.”

Jedi business. Go back to your drinks.

So now an Dayton police applicant can get just over half correct on a test and still pass? What a joke.

The Dayton Police Department is lowering its testing standards for recruits.

It’s a move required by the U.S. Department of Justice after it says not enough African-Americans passed the exam.

Dayton is in desperate need of officers to replace dozens of retirees. The hiring process was postponed for months because the D.O.J. rejected the original scores provided by the Dayton Civil Service Board, which administers the test.

Under the previous requirements, candidates had to get a 66% on part one of the exam and a 72% on part two.

The D.O.J. approved new scoring policy only requires potential police officers to get a 58% and a 63%. That’s the equivalent of an ‘F’ and a ‘D’.

“It becomes a safety issue for the people of our community,” said Dayton Fraternal Order of Police President, Randy Beane. “It becomes a safety issue to have an incompetent officer next to you in a life and death situation.”

“The NAACP does not support individuals failing a test and then having the opportunity to be gainfully employed,” agreed Dayton NAACP President Derrick Foward.

The D.O.J. and Civil Service Board declined Dayton’s News Source’s repeat requests for interviews. The lower standards mean 258 more people passed the test. The city won’t say how many were minorities.

“If you lower the score for any group of people, you’re not getting the best qualified people for the job,” Foward said.

“We need to work with the youth and make them interested in becoming law enforcement officers and firefighters,” said Beane. “Break down the barriers whether they are real or perceived, so we can move forward in this community.”

The D.O.J. has forced other police departments across the country to lower testing standards, citing once again that not enough black candidates were passing.

The Dayton Firefighter recruit exam is coming up this summer. The chief said it’s likely the passing score for that test will be lowered as well.

Fuck Eric Holder and his department of social justice. The FOP President said it best: “It becomes a safety issue to have an incompetent officer next to you in a life and death situation.”

I’m not necessarily opposed to having more black officers out on the streets in Dayton. But not at the expense of lowering some already questionable standards.

I love the attitude of, “We’re not getting the desired outcome? Let’s just lower the standards.”

Busted in the middle of the night? That’s a pretty shitty ninja.

A Scottdale man was charged with endangering the welfare of children after he was found dressed in black and “playing ninja” on a street while his child was at home alone.

Scottdale police said they saw a man in all-black clothing walking east on Fifth Avenue in 20-degree temperatures at 1:23 a.m. March 3.

Ross M. Hurst, 28, of 8 Fifth Ave. told police that he was out for a jog. In an affidavit of probable cause, Patrolman Joseph Lane observed dried mud on Hurst’s knee. Hurst said he had fallen, then said he had knelt in a field.

Hurst told police that he was acting out a fantasy of portraying a ninja, a Japanese martial arts expert employed for espionage and assassinations.

“I asked him why he was playing by himself, to which he replied that there are not a lot of people who want to play ninja,” Lane stated in an affidavit. “I advised him that it looked to me that he was doing something else. Hurst stated that he was not doing anything wrong and was going home.”

Lane found the story incredible and spoke with Hurst’s sister-in-law, who said he has a 4-year-old son. When police arrived at Hurst’s home, he told officers that the boy was sleeping.

“I asked him who watched him while he was out acting like a ninja, to which he stated his (Hurst’s) mother,” Lane stated.

When Lane asked for the woman’s name and number, Hurst refused to provide it. After officers checked on the son, they had Hurst’s sister-in-law contact the child’s mother to pick him up and called Children and Youth Services.

Police later contacted Hurst’s mother, who stated that she did not baby-sit her grandson that night.

Hurst has a preliminary hearing scheduled for 11 a.m. March 30.

Now that I’m older, I think back to when I was a youth and used to roam around in the middle of the night doing similar stupid shit like this. I also wonder how many times a car drove by me at 2 am, say my pisspoor attempt at hiding, laughed and just drove on by.

But wait. There’s more.

In a separate incident Tuesday, Hurst allegedly called a man who is a witness in a criminal case. He allegedly threatened the man and said he set up Michael Vivian, a friend of Hurst’s who is in the Westmoreland County Prison on charges of manufacturing, possession and delivery of a controlled substance.

“You know that skin around your neck?” Hurst said, according to the affidavit of probable cause filed by state police at Greensburg. “I hope you cherish it, because it’s gonna get cut.”

The witness’ wife told police that Hurst said her husband was a snitch and that he would kill everyone in her family.

Hurst was charged with intimidating a witness, two counts of terroristic threats and two counts of harassment with lewd and threatening language.

A preliminary hearing on those charges has been scheduled for 10:45 a.m. Wednesday.

I thought Ninjas were supposed to be on the hush-hush with their assassination attempts?

As someone said elsewhere: one down, 49 waivers to go.

The federal government Tuesday granted Maine a waiver of a key provision in the Muslim Wookie Fucker’s health care overhaul, citing the likelihood that enforcement could destabilize the state’s market for individual health insurance.

So today I heard the following term for the Democrats state politicians that fled Wisconsin.

Fleebaggers.

That one’s going into the vault.

So here’s something that has me curious. The price of gasoline has gone up pretty high as of late.

Where’s the media outcry about these uber-high prices?

Where are the constant stories about how horrible $3.50-4/gallon gas is for the U.S.?

I’m baffled beyond belief as to the lack of coverage that was such a big f’n deal back in 2006 and then again in 2008. And it’s obvious who’s at fault.

The Kenyan Koffee Fetcher.

In the midst of the HUSSEIN RECESSION, the Non-Dialect Negro has gone from bowing to his fat-cat Arab leaders pals over there in the Middle East to increasing their profits.

What other reason could there be? The last two gasoline spikes were the fault of a Texas Yahoo in the White House doing favors for his Big Oil buddies, so it only makes sense that now the current occupier of Pennsylvania Avenue is doing the same for his pals.

Actually, I do find it amusing how people lose their shit when the price of gas goes up. Do I like it? No. But you need to deal with it. We’re not building any more refineries. The rest of the world isn’t becoming less dependent on this resource. Hell, the last time this happened, America’s consumption of gasoline actually went down. I’m curious to see what’s going to happen this time around.

Uhhhhhh. Great lead to this story, Associated Press.

A 12-year-old boy accused of killing his parents and wounding two of his younger siblings is a “good kid” who is active in his church, often volunteering to hand out bulletins, work audio and video equipment and help other children learn Bible verses, friends and relatives said.

The boy is suspected of fatally shooting his parents and wounding his 5-year-old sister and 9-year-old brother Tuesday evening at the family’s home in Burlington, near the Kansas border.

“Pennsylvania State police warn of suspicious person.” I love headlines.

And here’s the story.

Beware of strangers knocking on the door, state police warn.

State police said an unknown male gained entry to the home of an elderly man on Melvin Drive by telling the homeowner he was with Hempfield Township and was collecting $5 for “bug spraying.”

The two men chatted, the visitor asked to use the bathroom inside the home, and then he departed “without any known problems,” police said.

The homeowner was targeted several months ago by two individuals who “grossly overcharged” for a driveway paving job, police said.

Police are seeking information on the latest visitor, described as a white male in his late teens or early 20s. He weighs about 200 pounds and is about 6 feet tall. He was driving a dark-colored sedan, police said.

Anyone knowing about similar incidents or who saw something in this case should contact state police in Greensburg.

I remember a year or so ago I took the day off work; can’t remember the reason. However, this guy did ring the doorbell and I answered. He was one of those, “I drove by and say your driveway could use paving.” Uhhh, no, it doesn’t. I think he was surprised someone under the age of 80 answered the door at 11 am on a weekday. I think I still have his business card.

But remember, those pirates are just poor and hungry.

Americans Jean and Scott Adam were on a mission to distribute Bibles around the world when their yacht was hijacked by Somali MUSLIM pirates, friends of the couple said.

On Tuesday, the U.S. Central Command said the Adams, along with Philis Macay and Bob Riggle, had been killed by their MUSLIM captors.

A U.S. Navy ship had been trailing the captured Americans after their yacht, Quest, was overtaken by MUSLIM pirates on Friday.

Although to be fair, if you’re going to deliver Bibles around the world to third-world shitholes, perhaps a yacht shouldn’t be your transportation vehicle of choice.